I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
