Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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