Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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