Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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