Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
