can we get nightvision for the apartment?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
