Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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