He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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