So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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