Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm getting married
To pizza
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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