you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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