you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
