well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
