Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
my shit smells like andre
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
