there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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