Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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