Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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