If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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