whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
