I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
