You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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