why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
