Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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