I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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