i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
