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In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
