just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
