..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize