Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
