At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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