idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
