i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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