The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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