Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Boobs speak an international language.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
