I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Randomize
