how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
