3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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