It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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