were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We don't watch enough power rangers
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
