Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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