I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
