nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
