I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
