i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
