Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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