I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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