we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
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