That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
