I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
