We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
