Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
