Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
