The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
how does that bad decision feel?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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