apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
