My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
