He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize