He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You need a sexual gate keeper
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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