Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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