i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
