weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
