it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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