all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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