you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
foreskin is a definite game changer
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
