We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
