what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
MIDGETS
????
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize