Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think my vagina is haunted
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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